Posted in April 2012

“Wait, is that the one where Sonic turns into a werewolf?”

[Note: This review refers to the Nintendo Wii/PlayStation 2 version of Sonic Unleashed, which differs slightly from the Xbox 360/PS3 version.]

I’ll admit, when I first heard about Sonic Unleashed I thought it sounded… well, kind of weird. It sort of reminds me of my experience with Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker. There I essentially wrote the game off because of its art style and figured I’d never even bother playing it. Of course, “It’s a Zelda game!!!” eventually kicked in, so I ended up giving it a chance… and having my mind blown.

A lot of casual fans of Sonic the Hedgehog have noted that the concepts of a lot of the recent Sonic games (pre-Sonic IV: Episode I and Sonic Generations) have sounded rather odd. You have Sonic shoved into Arabian Nights and Arthurian Legend. I will admit, I haven’t played either game, but my unabashed nerdiness has gradually been chipping away at my initial reluctance. I’m sure playthroughs of both are in my immediate future.

But as far as Sonic Unleashed goes, there are so many things going on in the game that no one ever talks about, and even the parts people do talk about proved dramatically different than uninformed expectations.

Story
From the opening cutscene (which is actually what inspired me to give the game a chance in the first place), it was pretty clear that this was not the game I expected it to be. We’re given an action-packed cutscene that hashes out the traditional battle between Sonic and Robotnik that we’ve been seeing for decades. Sonic races through Robotnik’s robot army in a fierce battle, and eventually transforms into Super Sonic. Honestly? It really made me think a Sonic the Hedgehog movie is viable.

Toward the end of this scene, Robotnik tricks Sonic and uses a machine to rip the power of the Chaos Emeralds out of him, draining them of their power and, in the process, causing Sonic to undergo a painful transformation into a Werehog. My uninformed objections about the whole “werewolf” thing? Gone. Far from being some really weird concept forced into the Sonic continuity, the Werehog form is a pretty sensible consequence of Sonic having the Chaos Emeralds literally ripped out of him and used to unleash Dark Gaia. It fits the universe perfectly, and that’s really all there is to say about it.

Sonic has a new partner on his journey, Chip, a small winged Mobian with a bright and energetic personality. At first, I was rather annoyed that they produced this new character rather than having Tails be Sonic’s sidekick… but where this character’s story ends up going really surprised me, and the game really doesn’t work otherwise, so I was forced to (reluctantly) drop this objection. I will, however, maintain that Amy Rose really didn’t need to be in the game (or exist at all), and that Professor Pickle didn’t need to exist and easily could’ve been replaced by Tails (who appears in the game, but in a very limited role.)

Finally, one of the things about this game that doesn’t get nearly enough attention is what it does to the Sonic universe. Mobius (yeah, I’m still calling it that) is divided into seven continents, each of which has a very distinct culture which seems to resemble cultures on earth. The game is actually called Sonic World Adventure in Japan, giving this aspect greater emphasis. If it had also been titled that in America, perhaps it wouldn’t be written off as “the one where Sonic turns into a werewolf.” This international flavor adds so much to the Sonic universe, and I’d really like to see future games making use of it. That being said, I really wish these supporting characters (or at least many of them) had been Mobians. I really don’t see why humans need to be the majority in the Sonic universe. It’s a minor gripe, though, and not one that’s even especially objective, so it doesn’t really affect my review of the game. And make no mistake: the diversity portrayed here was fantastic and added a tremendous amount of depth to both the game and the Sonic universe at large.

Far from being the weakness it seems to be if all you know about Unleashed is that it’s “that one where Sonic turns into a werewolf,” the story and world of this game are actually one of its biggest strengths. 5/5.

Audio/Visual
Sonic Unleashed has fantastic graphics both in gameplay and in cutscenes. It’s visually spectacular without being distracting. It also has fantastic sound effects which augment the fantastic graphics. The animation (and accompanying sound) of Sonic’s new abilities, as well as his old ones, are as impressive as they ought to be (another first for this series). The best way I can describe it is, this is the first game where his speed seems physically, viscerally real, and has impact. His speed really seems powerful, thanks to the impressive visual and sound effects. Unlike many recent Sonic games, Unleashed doesn’t have a theme song with vocals, but the in-game scoring is spectacular and really does add to the experience. All of the non-gameplay elements of this game, in addition to being excellent individually, really combined to make it fantastically fun to play. 5/5.

Gameplay
Sonic Unleashed has the best controls of any 3D Sonic game I’ve played. It integrates new powers seamlessly, and generally is just a lot of fun to play. The gimmick of having the huge difference between the Day/Night stages does mostly serve to keep the game fresh, though I have to admit after a while the Night stages get much more repetitive than the Day stages. Oddly, they actually seem to get more linear as the game goes on, with fewer puzzles and more fights. The fights themselves are not especially difficult, but are generally fairly fun.

Though I generally prefer the gameplay in the Day stages (and find more variety in the Day stages), the big payoff for the Night gameplay is the boss fights. The Day boss fights are decent enough, especially since this game thankfully uses the concept of “running” bosses (Sonic is running the whole time), unlike other Sonic games that rather counterintuitively decide, “Kay, we’re going to stand still and jump a lot here.” But the Night bosses are fantastic.

The level design is the best of any 3D Sonic game other than Generations (note: I have not yet played the Wii version of Colors.) There are a few places where the level will frustratingly kill you, and getting around those parts does detract from the overall experience a bit, but not as much as it has in previous games. Still, it is enough to stop me from quite giving this aspect of the game a perfect score. 4/5.

Overall
I think my initial comparison to Wind Waker is pretty apt. Like many who haven’t played this game, I wrote it off as silly and embarrassing to the franchise, and didn’t have any designs on playing it. When I finally did play it, it defied my expectations entirely, delivering hours of fun gameplay and even making a few fairly significant contributions to the larger Sonic franchise. What is fairly universally declared (by people who haven’t played it) to be one of the worst Sonic games is, in fact, one of the best. 5/5.

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Asterisk

So there I was, innocently preparing to to make my NBA Playoff predictions without checking any of the scores of the Round 1 games in progress.

And then Twitter exploded.

As soon as I found out Rose was hurt, I broke my media blackout. I had to. Moments like that, being a fan just takes over. I needed to know immediately how bad he was hurt. Of course, that information wasn’t available until a couple hours later… when it was revealed to the horror of every Chicago Bulls fan, and really just people who are enthusiastic about basketball and want to see an entertaining postseason, that Rose had suffered a torn ACL and would miss the remainder of the playoffs and the Olympics.

And, let’s be absolutely frank about this here and now, a torn ACL is not the sort of injury you automatically return from 100% of the player you were before it. In a season plagued by nagging but comparatively minor injuries, fate saved the worst for last. Derrick Rose might never be the same again.

I believe he will, because he is bigger than this. This was a lost season for Rose, but he will be back. The thing is… I’ve been following Chicago sports for quite some time, and this is exactly the sort of thing that happens to us. Does the name Mark Prior ring any bells?

I don’t think that’s happening this time. But you just never know.

Anyway, Rose’s injury (which places an asterix on these playoffs for a lot of people) drew me out of my self-imposed media blackout, so I saw Miami go on a referee-assisted tear against New York. I can’t unsee either of these things, so I’ll fully own the fact that these picks are made with an “unfair advantage.” Fittingly enough, they should probably have an asterisk placed on them.

Eastern Conference Quarterfinals

Chicago over Philadelphia in 4 Games

Yeah, you heard me. Chicago is absolutely still sweeping the 76ers. Remember: Chicago achieved the best record in the league largely without Derrick Rose, C.J. Watson has been playing unbelievable basketball in his absence (which, unfortunately, probably means he’s leaving town in the not terribly distant future), and this is the same lifeless 76ers squad that almost everyone picked to get swept.

Miami over New York in 5 Games

This should be a much longer series, but New York needs just about everything to go right to have a chance of upsetting Miami, and if Miami keeps getting major assists from the referees this series is already over.

Orlando over Indiana in 7 Games

A lot of things have to go right for the Dwight-less Magic, but can someone explain to me why we’re suddenly buying Indy as a powerhouse? Solidly built team, but I can’t escape the impression that these are two fairly evenly-matched teams, one of whom is vastly more experienced.

Boston over Atlanta in 7 Games

I know, I know. Boston is old, this is the year Atlanta finally figures it out, etc etc etc. Not that it isn’t a cool story, but Kevin Garnett’s resurgence after being moved back to the 5-spot really has everyone buzzing about this team, and justifiably so. This is a gifted team that has won a title and was a Garnett injury away from an unexpected second title, and they really ought not to be written off. (Hold that thought.)

Western Conference Quarterfinals

San Antonio over Utah Jazz in 4 Games

There’s a good chance this isn’t a sweep (even though it ought to be), but I really don’t see any reason San Antonio doesn’t beat Utah every night. Imagine, by the way, all the hype this series would’ve generated if Steve Nash had willed the Suns into the 8-spot. San Antonio being bounced in the first round last year, the Nash/Spurs thing… all of it would’ve been in play.

Oklahoma City over Dallas in 7 Games

“Did she say seven games?” Yes. She said seven games. I’m so not remotely sold on this Oklahoma City team. I understand what everyone sees in them, or wants to see in them, but I still want to see them prove it.

L.A. Lakers over Denver Nuggets in 7 Games

I’m not the first one to comment on this, but remember how pitiful the Lakers/Celtics rivalry looked a few months ago? And now suddenly they’re both showing more than a few signs of life? I’m not saying I think another Lakers/Celtics Finals is likely, I’m just saying we can’t rule it out, and that’s pretty remarkable.

Memphis Grizzlies over L.A. Clippers in 6 Games

If I had bet you a million dollars that the Clippers and Grizzlies were going to meet in a first round playoff series just a few years ago, you would’ve taken the bet regardless of your economic status. So here we are. I have to admit, I expected much bigger things for the Clippers when they appeared more than poised to dethrone the Lakers as the best team in Los Angeles. The Grizzlies are just so talented (Good gods, who ever thought I’d be saying that?), and the Clippers so one-dimensional, I think they’re just going to find themselves smothered by Memphis’s defense.

Eastern Conference Semifinals

Boston over Chicago in 7 Games

Perhaps more than anything, I’m mourning the loss of the series this could’ve been. Chicago/Boston in the 2008-09 Playoffs was quite possibly the best opening round playoff series of all time. Derrick Rose was not the player he is now (though he showed flashes of it), but his duel with Rajon Rondo elevated their rivalry to the same level as Williams/Paul. I was really, really looking forward to that rematch.

Oh, that thought you were holding earlier? Keep holding it.

Miami over Orland in 4 Games

Second-round sweeps aren’t the most common thing in the world, but whether Orlando pulls off the emotional upset without their superstar, or Indiana makes it out of the first round without having any in the first place, the second round is just going to look like a nonstop Miami highlight reel.

Western Conference Semifinals

San Antonio over Memphis in 7 Games
L.A. Lakers over Oklahoma City in 7 Games

You know, I really went back and forth on both of these series and never really felt comfortable no matter which way I picked. Oklahoma City is the “obvious favorite” despite the fact that they haven’t proven they can win at this level, Memphis is the trendy pick, the Lakers have really turned things around but are relying on the always-shaky Bynum and whatever Kobe has left in the tank, and San Antonio is lobbying to have the shot clocks replaced with sun dials so their aging superstars will be more familiar with them.

You know, with the shocking success of San Antonio and the resurgent Celtics and Lakers, we have a compelling, “I’ll show you too old,” storyline developing. Unfortunately, it doesn’t help us much with the, “Who’s going to stop the Heat?” storyline. (Gulp.)

Conference Finals

Miami over Boston in 5 Games

Remember that thought you were holding? (It was, ” This is a gifted team that has won a title and was a Garnett injury away from an unexpected second title, and they really ought not to be written off.”) Add to the mix the, “Who’s going to stop Miami?” storyline I just mentioned, and you’ve got the mix for a potentially epic series. Yes, I obviously don’t have it happening because of Miami’s overwhelming advantages (Rose’s injury destroyed their biggest legitimate competition) , but I would absolutely love it if this became the most recent entry in the LeBron James enigma/soap opera.

San Antonio over L.A. Lakers in 7 Games

The Sundial Series! I love it! Okay, I have to acknowledge the very real possibility that you’re actually going to be seeing Memphis/Oklahoma City in this series, but as long as I’m going with an oddball pick why not take one of the deepest teams in the NBA with one of the best coaches in the NBA? At least I’m familiar with all the elements, since I basically just described the Bulls.

The NBA Finals

Miami over San Antonio in 7 Games

Who’s going to stop Miami? Maybe no one. Maybe Boston. Maybe San Antonio. Maybe the Rose-less Bulls (probably not.) What do these teams have in common? Smothering defense, which was the formula San Antonio used to shut LeBron down entirely in his only Finals appearance with the Cleveland Cavaliers.

These are not the Cleveland Cavaliers.

Without their most natural enemy (Rose) in the mix, I just see all the chips falling Miami’s way this year. I hope I’m wrong, and we spend the offseason asking whether this “Super Team” will ever win a title… I’m just not sure they can be denied with everything they have going for them right now.

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The NFL Draft

So, Round 1 happened. Stories like “Colts Select Andrew Luck” and “Redskins Pick Robert Griffin III” are top stories on ESPN even though we’ve known about them for weeks. I don’t have anything to say about these “stories” that hadn’t already been said a hundred times weeks ago (note: neither do the fine folks at ESPN, but that isn’t stopping them), so I’m not going to try. Instead, I’d like to focus on the two teams that are closer to home for me. That is, my hometown team (Chicago) and the team everyone around here roots for (New England).

So here we go. Chicago has a key opportunity to improve their team, maybe by shoring up Jay Cutler’s offensive line so he doesn’t get sacked every other play, or giving him another offensive option to… wait, what? They picked an outside linebacker? Who they want to convert to defensive end? And they’re stacked at both positions? Um… okay.

Meanwhile, the New England Patriots traded up (they discovered they can do that?), leading to one of the most terrifying sentences I’ve read in a while: ”After trading down for years, Bill Belichick finally found a pair of players he thought were worth trading up for.”

Uh-oh.

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Nintendo Powerless

Nintendo Records First-Ever Full Year Loss in 2011

This just goes to show you that you can only get away with basing your business decisions on undeserved arrogance for a decade or two.

Honestly? I was drinking the Kool-Aid until the Wii U was unveiled, and nearly simultaneously the 3DS was getting lukewarm sales and reviews, and Nintendo of America refused to import several Japanese games even though they had already been translated into English by Nintendo of Europe. It’s really bizarre how my opinion of Nintendo as a company did a completely 180 in that span of a few weeks. It’s like everything from GameCube to Wii to the future just suddenly caught up with me all at once.

When you’re going to base your entire business philosophy on insisting that your gaming experience is intrinsically “better” for intangible reasons, the fact that you have inferior hardware and archaic attitudes about gaming (“No one wants to play games on their phones,” “The internet is a fad”), it has to catch up with you eventually, right?

A few months ago, I was willing to go as far as to say that Nintendo might go completely bankrupt. Sony was circling like a hungry shark at E3, and all but publicly declared that they were going to knock Nintendo out of the market.

Then they shot themselves in the foot.

Announcing the Vita with an expensive, required proprietary memory card was a giant middle finger to gamers everywhere, every bit as shortsighted and arrogant as Nintendo has been lately. And far from knocking the 3DS out of the market, the Vita is setting records for low sales.

Sony and Microsoft’s advantages are fairly obvious if you just read their names. They have the backing of large corporations that do a lot more than gaming, and can afford to absorb a loss every now and then. Now, don’t get me wrong… I really wish the dogfight were still between Sega and Nintendo. I remember when gaming was something more than which first-person shooter or role playing game had the most attractive shades of grey and brown. But Sega getting knocked out of the console market was the worst thing that ever happened to gaming, and I don’t think Nintendo can be what it needs to be without a traditional competitor like that to keep them honest.

I think Nintendo weathers this for now, because of all the same factors we used to fall back on when examining the situation. Nintendo owns the handheld market (something I thought the Vita was going to seriously challenge, but now clearly isn’t), and their first-party titles have remained excellent regardless of everything else they’ve botched. We always used to say those two factors would keep them in business no matter what, and it looks like we’re going to get to test that theory unless the Wii U is much, much better and more marketable than it looks right now.

The thing is, there’s another specter on the horizon: the handheld gaming market might become obsolete. As smartphones become more and more commonplace, people won’t have as much of a reason to have a dedicated handheld gaming platform. Which means Nintendo would then become entirely reliant on their consoles, a prospect that I doubt is very comforting to Nintendo or its fans.

Longterm, Nintendo is going to have to start making some serious changes to remain relevant. And no, I don’t mean suddenly doing a 180 and getting in the business of making Call of Duty Knockoff 9: Featuring Additional Shades of Grey and Brown and More Realistic Muzzle Flashes. I mean making the kind of games that they’ve always made, but making smarter business and (especially, especially, especially) hardware decisions.

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“It’s just my opinion.”

This article discusses an excellent example of something that’s been on my mind a lot lately: people don’t understand how the “freedom of speech” actually works. One related phenomenon not mentioned in this article is people making unbelievably judgmental statements and, upon being called out on it, immediately responding with, “It’s just my opinion!”

Do people think these phrases act like Super Star powerup in Mario Bros. and make you invincible from ever being wrong? Someone pointing out that you’re being a bigot does not infringe on your sacred freedom of speech. Rather, it is merely that person exercising their freedom of speech. And the fact that something is an “opinion” does not mean it is immune from the standards of common decency.

The freedom of speech absolutely gives you the right to make stupid, bigoted statements. It does not guarantee that people will listen to you. It does not guarantee that you won’t be challenged. And it does not guarantee that there won’t be consequences for what you say.

So if you spout a bunch of hateful propaganda about racial minorities, queer people, immigrants, or just people you don’t agree with in general, am I going to say that I think you should shut up? Yeah, probably.

But it’s just my opinion.

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How the GOP Loves Women

Do you see now? The GOP loves women — as long as they’re not gay, immigrants, or Native American. And especially if they’re gay immigrants being beaten by white people on Native American reservations. Caring about those women would only detract from how much they love you.

- Erin Gloria Ryan, New Version of Violence Against Women Act Shows GOP Only Hates the Most Vulnerable Women

I’m getting so sick and tired of this bullshit.

I’m sorry if my language offends you, but the fact that elected officials are able to get away with this kind of crap offends me, and frankly is a much bigger deal.

Can people please bear these kinds of things in mind when they somehow manage to stumble into an election booth under the impression that the decision they’re making is roughly analogous to the choice between Diet Coke and Diet Pepsi, and then make decisions based on who looks better on television and who they think they’d rather “have a beer with”?

Please?

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“Oh my God, they went there.”

“Don’t open that door.” “Don’t run upstairs!” “No, not that way!” “What is she doing???”

Sound familiar? It’s you, watching a horror movie. Afterward, you probably have a vigorous conversation with your friends about how unrealistic it was, how stupid the main characters were, and how every horror movie is like that.

These criticisms are so widespread, they’ve become part of our collective consciousness about the horror genre. They have frequently become the fodder for parody in films like the unimaginative Scary Movie and its numerous sequels. A more nuanced approach is taken in the Scream franchise, which for many is now largely synonymous with the term “meta.” Scream married humor and critique-bordering-on-parody to horror without sacrificing the quality of the horror. It is an excellent horror film first and foremost, that has the added bonus of providing an interesting critique of its own genre.

The Cabin in the Woods actually takes things a step further than Scream, both in terms of scope and execution. Not content with merely commenting on these tropes, The Cabin in the Woods actually provides an ingenious explanation for them. Moreover, whereas Scream occasionally needs to test the limits of the Fourth Wall to make its commentary, The Cabin in the Woods actually brings the Fourth Wall into the film, and has characters behind it observing the other characters who are acting out the traditional “horror movie” part of the narrative.

So, instead of, “Don’t open that door,” etc, the audience behind the real fourth wall can only find themselves saying, “Oh wow…” as layer after layer of what’s really going on is slowly revealed. And every time you think you know what’s happening, the film actually keeps managing to raise the stakes. The “horror movie” parts of the film are compelling enough on their own, with the added bonus that we are seeing “real people” who are stuck in a horror movie. But once one of the characters starts to figure out parts of what’s happening, a series of revelations is set into motion, each more dizzying and impressive than the previous.

The enormity of what’s actually happening provides the potential for the most ridiculous final act you could possibly imagine, but unlike a lot of films The Cabin in the Woods actually goes through with it. You realize, “Oh, they could do that, but they’re not going to…” and then they do. It’s one of the most impressive final acts I’ve ever seen in a film…

But they aren’t done. The film manages to raise the stakes one more time, and the implications of this final reveal are simply staggering.

The very nature of this film makes it difficult to discuss the plot without giving away pretty much everything. Much of the pleasure is derived from the brilliant pacing of the film’s revelations, and I would feel incredibly guilty if I deprived potential viewers of that experience, but I would feel even more guilty if I didn’t sufficiently convince you to go see this film. It’s one of “those” films. I hope I have managed to strike a balance between the two, because really, the most accurate thing I can say about this film is you need to go see it right now.

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The Worst NHL Playoff Series I’ve Ever Seen

One could easily be forgiven for suspecting me of hyperbole in light of my team’s second consecutive season to end in bitter disappointment and unattained expectations, but I promise that is not the case. I actually intentionally waited a few days to write this so I could have some distance from my immediate disappointment as a fan, and examine the larger implications of what I intrinsically knew was a bad series not only for the Chicago Blackhawks and their fans, but for the NHL and hockey fans in general.

Last year’s playoffs occurred during the “Grace Period” every team’s fans owe it in the season immediately following a championship. The Blackhawks initially stretched that patience to its limit by losing its first three games to the Vancouver Canucks. The losses were each by a goal or two (0-2, 3-4, 2-3), and easily could’ve gone the other way. The Blackhawks responded by blowing out the Canucks in the next two games (7-2, 5-0) and winning a thrilling overtime Game 6 that remains one of my favorite sports memories of all time. Every Blackhawks fan wanted them to play Game 7 immediately, so caught up in euphoria over the thrilling victory and improbable comeback.

Now, to understand the enormity of the Hockeyocalypse that was Game 7… the Blackhawks have had the Canucks’ number in the playoffs since their recent resurgence. Two years in a row, including the Blackhawks’ Stanley Cup season, the Canucks were unable to solve Chicago, while Chicago had all-world goalie Roberto Luongo’s number for reasons no one could entirely understand. With the Canucks winning the Presidents’ Trophy, and having a 3-games-to-none advance over the Blackhawks, Luongo and Vancouver appeared to be on the verge of finally overcoming their demons… only to watch Luongo get absolutely shelled in Games 4 and 5.

After benching Luongo for Game 6, the Canucks were forced to bring him in when backup goalie Cory Schneider injured himself basically doing the splits failing to stop a Michael Frolik penalty shot. And, as the script would have it, Luongo lost the game in overtime, and the Canucks were suddenly on the doorstep of an impossible collapse.

You might know that the Blackhawks lost a heartbreaker in overtime. You might not know that the game shouldn’t have ever gone into overtime, as the Blackhawks were robbed of a goal on a controversial “no goal” call. You might also not know that rookie goalie Corey Crawford was an absolute warrior, making the loss all the more heartbreaking.

That being said, this year’s loss was not only more heartbreaking… it came in one of the worst playoff series I have ever seen. The uneven officiating is the biggest factor that made it difficult to watch. Raffi Torres, who has a history of dirty play against the Blackhawks, delivered an illegal hit to Marian Hossa’s head that was so severe he was taken off the ice in a stretcher… and the only penalty on the play was a game misconduct on Brandon Bollig for retaliating by throwing Torres to the ice.

Torres’ hit was so egregious, it would later earn him a twenty-five game suspension when it was reviewed by the NHL, but he was not penalized, and the Phoenix Coyotes went on the power play afterward. Like every game but Game 6, the game was decided by an overtime goal.

No, it isn’t the officiating crew’s fault that the Blackhawks never really “broke out” in the series like they’re capable of… but their disgraceful showing in Game 3 wasn’t enough. They also handed the deciding Game 6 to the Coyotes on a silver platter with a slew of questionable calls and no-calls that led to Phoenix power plays, which was the source of all of their goals.

Should the Blackhawks have overcome even these obstacles? Yes. Yes, they should have. Was Phoenix goalie Mike Smith’s remarkable performance throughout the series as big of a factor as the terrible officiating? Absolutely. But in such a close hockey series with great play on both sides, seeing the officiating completely alter the outcome of the series is just heartbreaking.

Close games like these, an unprecedented five consecutive overtimes (including a mind-boggling three last-second empty-net desperation goals by the Blackhawks to force overtimes) are hockey at its greatest. But knowing that the referees can essentially hand such a series to one team or another makes it really difficult to watch what should be great hockey games. Now, you almost have to hope that someone unambiguously blows the other team out so there can’t be any question.

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My Little Blogger: Politics Is Bullshit

Ill-content with their party’s War on Women, and broader War on Common Sense, conservative bloggers have decided to jump in and talk about something that really matters… My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic?

Yes, apparently one of the most disturbing trends facing America today is that young adult and adult men watch a television show that Mr. Schlichter does not approve of, despite likely not having seen a single episode. In an article that is quite academically interesting if you want a fine example of the way conservatives see gender, Schlichter delivers such gems as:

“All the while, as these pathetic sissies giggle like school girls over magic unicorns that spray rainbows from their horns, real men – and women – who have put aside the temptation to retreat into a frivolous fantasy world are tromping through the wilds of Afghanistan. Such young adults, some younger (in years) than the “bronies,” are protecting all of us – including these pathetic weirdoes.”

“Pathetic weirdos”? Right. What’s pathetic, Mr. Schlichter, is your archaic attitude about gender. What’s pathetic is that you would dedicate such vitriolic rhetoric to the fact that some people enjoy things that are different than what you enjoy. And yes, though you mock the idea later in your article, what’s pathetic is that you (and others like you) think you get to decide what boys (and girls) should and shouldn’t like.

What’s pathetic is the fact that you (and others like you) ignore any inconvenient fact that doesn’t fit the narrative you’re trying to construct. This is a small point, but My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic is filmed in Vancouver, a good 2,000 kilometers away from Hollywood. But that doesn’t fit your traditional conservative narrative that “Hollywood” is ruining America, so naturally it doesn’t stop you from insisting the show comes from “Hollywood” no less than five times in your one-page article. A bigger example is that you manage to completely miss the point of Star Trek by insisting that it shows what boys and men “should” be like, when in fact Star Trek was always quite exceptional at portraying a culture that prized diversity. Furthermore, you suggest Star Trek embraces violence when, in fact, it treats it as a last resort.

What’s pathetic is that you, Mr. Schlichter, are something that this country as a whole is finally starting to realize is not okay: a bully.

Bronies aren’t pathetic, Mr. Schlichter. You are.

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Once More Unto the Gleek?

In my previous entry, I discussed the factors that led me to stop watching Glee. In essence, it became increasingly obvious that the show had lost the sense of direction that made its first season so brilliant. The storytelling had become lazy, and the show was instead relying on the novelty of its concept.

Nevertheless, when one of my coworkers told me that last Tuesday’s (4/17) episode had included a positive portrayal of a transgender character, I had no choice but to watch. First of all, transgender characters are a pretty staggering rarity on television in the first place. To have one included on a show that I not only watched, but genuinely enjoyed, was an opportunity I just couldn’t ignore.

I’m going to get my criticisms out of the way. First of all, the problems I noted in my previous post were still glaringly obvious. Most of the characters didn’t say or do anything for the entire episode. I really don’t like being right about this, but the writers have clearly lost the ability to handle an ensemble cast.

My second criticism is going to sound like a minor gripe, but anyone reading who is transgender or has transgender loved ones will hopefully be nodding their heads: Wade/Unique is never referred to with female pronouns. There is also absolutely no mention of the difference between “drag queens” and transwomen, and the portrayal of Unique could easily lead uneducated viewers to conflate the two. Hopefully future episodes will address this, but the educational angle about the transgender community was severely lacking in this initial portrayal.

All of that being said… thank you, Goddess, Glee has not outlived its usefulness!

Unique approaches Kurt and Mercedes because she wants advice about openly performing as a woman. Kurt and Mercedes initially oppose it, fearing that Ohio just “isn’t ready” for a transgender performer. They are later confronted by Coach Sue, who sees encouraging Unique to perform in heels and a dress as an excellent opportunity to sabotage a rival show choir.

Kurt and Mercedes initially go along with Sue’s plan, but in a fit of remorse they confront Unique and beg her to reconsider her decision for her own safety. Instead, Unique is even more determined to put on a show. Her coach runs to the stage to try to get her offstage, but stops when he realizes that the crowd is going absolutely wild for Unique’s performance.

The thing is, that wasn’t the only exceptional thing about this episode. Although my complaint that many of the characters function merely as background scenery stands, the main plot of the episode is actually quite good. Coach Schuster has grown worried and frustrated about three of his students–Santana, Mercedes, and (shocker) Finn. So, he gives them an assignment to explore and express their dreams.

Mercedes and Santana certainly have mixed results with their assignment, but the most shocking breakthrough comes from Finn. Finn’s frustration about being a “loser” mounts throughout the episode, building to a climax in a verbal confrontation with Schuster. His emotional turmoil is the most “real” thing this show has done in quite some time. The eventual resolution is both satisfying, and completely in character for Finn.

This was, frankly, the best episode of Glee I’ve seen in quite a while. It does appear the show will never achieve the consistency it had in the first season, it might be worth catching back up simply because it is still capable of having a few incredibly good episodes and subplots. And while the lack of educational content about transgender issues was obviously a bit disappointing (there is only one reference to Unique “identifying as female”), hopefully this will be hashed out in later episodes. There is certainly precedence for this on the show, as queer issues were explored in a season two subplot about gay bullying that carried over to season three. If I hear that the show explores this character–and transgender issues–more fully, I will definitely be watching those episodes. I may even have to catch up and resume watching the show in general. In order to do so, though, I will have to give up once and for all my frustration over what the show could have been, and instead appreciate what it is.

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